the others
- Rush's Blog
- Mrs. M's Blog
- Phil's Xanga
- Bryan's Blog
- Megan's Blog
- Manabu's Blog
- Xyra's Xanga
- Joe Koh's Xanga
- Tina's Blog
past life
the life and times of the little dust bunny in the corner
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
i haven't been able to get more than 4 straight hours of sleep every night since finals ended. i kept waking up at odd hours. falling back asleep isn't an option for me right after i wake up. but what is there to do at 3:30 am when all you can think about is how the next year of your life is going to be if you don't pass your classes. there are many different forms of distraction that come to mind: movies, music, food, more studying. but when i get stressed out i can't eat, can't let music relax my mind, or concentrate on where the plot of the movie is going (if i can't do that, how can i study?). but most of all, i can't seem to turn my brain off in order to get some good shuteye. it's a condition like this that prompts some sort of disclaimer label. in big red caps "DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY" etc. etc.
i think i can now peacefully get a little more of the "relax" factor into my small week of break now that i have passed both my calculus-based physics and organic chemistry sequences. i can breathe a little easier now, but my daily habits need to be more strictly parametrized. mom has been trying to convince me that i need to go running in the morning in order to sleep longer at the right times at night. am definitely taking her up on that, having experienced major fatigue without exercise this quarter. eating healthy? must figure out how to utilize the cafe and other outside sources without paying more than $7 per meal. we'll see how that one plays out...
mom also said something that i've heard all my life: don't forget that God is there. rely on Him. when you can't handle your burdens, ask Him to give you peace and focus. having always brushed aside her advice as something that came naturally without effort, i've forgotten its extreme importance. this quarter was rough on me in so many ways. but today her soft, decisive voice echoes in my head. it takes a strong desire to be connected to stay connected. the end result will always be better with faith and discipline.
i have a lot of flaws, but right now, i think my biggest flaw is not asking for help. that also needs to change this next quarter. academically and spiritually, my life needs to move off of this plateau that i've been camping on for the past couple of years. i pray that whatever this next quarter throws at me will be met by me with my textbooks in one hand, and a stronger connection with God in the other.
rapid eye movement to be continued
i think i can now peacefully get a little more of the "relax" factor into my small week of break now that i have passed both my calculus-based physics and organic chemistry sequences. i can breathe a little easier now, but my daily habits need to be more strictly parametrized. mom has been trying to convince me that i need to go running in the morning in order to sleep longer at the right times at night. am definitely taking her up on that, having experienced major fatigue without exercise this quarter. eating healthy? must figure out how to utilize the cafe and other outside sources without paying more than $7 per meal. we'll see how that one plays out...
mom also said something that i've heard all my life: don't forget that God is there. rely on Him. when you can't handle your burdens, ask Him to give you peace and focus. having always brushed aside her advice as something that came naturally without effort, i've forgotten its extreme importance. this quarter was rough on me in so many ways. but today her soft, decisive voice echoes in my head. it takes a strong desire to be connected to stay connected. the end result will always be better with faith and discipline.
i have a lot of flaws, but right now, i think my biggest flaw is not asking for help. that also needs to change this next quarter. academically and spiritually, my life needs to move off of this plateau that i've been camping on for the past couple of years. i pray that whatever this next quarter throws at me will be met by me with my textbooks in one hand, and a stronger connection with God in the other.
rapid eye movement to be continued
Monday, February 15, 2010
list of happenings thus far in february:
feb. 1: birthday--a weekend spent in foodage with the bestie and my parents, then getting ambushed with cheesecake, ice cream, a ginormous star balloon (that is bigger than my torso and still has helium after two weeks), and a movie by cecia, looloo, and jed on the night of my birthday; cloudy with a chance of meatballs is awesome, by the way.
feb. 9: shadowed a group dental practice--cannot wait to get my hands on some actual work there... absolutely love it!
feb. 10: mr. richards is now dr. richards--his defense at 10 am went well and he is finally done with his long-worked thesis; looks like a celebration is in order. also found out that dr. haloviak is engaged. so happy for both of these wonderful people who have helped to shape my goals and beliefs.
feb. 14: chinese new year/valentine's day--spent cleaning and sleeping and reading and studying and being hungry at random hours but staving it off with bran cereal. yum.
late into the early morning of feb. 15: reading alice in quantumland--which, by design, feels a lot like the phantom tollbooth but is still quite complex as i am allergic to physics.
sometimes i can't help but feel like everything is whirling forward and out of control and i am merely in the middle, almost immobile and quite off-pace. i'm doing my best to move forward, but i can't help but feel pressure from all sides. a little peace would be nice. a clear state of mind, undistracted. i pray that that is exactly what this next year of life brings me: focus and peace. even if i feel like my metabolism is slowing down and i can't pull all-nighters anymore. even if i have to force myself to understand the world of rest mass energy. this year, like all the ones before, i'm thankful for the people around me who give me motivation to focus and who cut into my pressure-laden condition and make me laugh and feel loved. somehow, someway, i aim to repay you tenfold.
before it begins to break
feb. 1: birthday--a weekend spent in foodage with the bestie and my parents, then getting ambushed with cheesecake, ice cream, a ginormous star balloon (that is bigger than my torso and still has helium after two weeks), and a movie by cecia, looloo, and jed on the night of my birthday; cloudy with a chance of meatballs is awesome, by the way.
feb. 9: shadowed a group dental practice--cannot wait to get my hands on some actual work there... absolutely love it!
feb. 10: mr. richards is now dr. richards--his defense at 10 am went well and he is finally done with his long-worked thesis; looks like a celebration is in order. also found out that dr. haloviak is engaged. so happy for both of these wonderful people who have helped to shape my goals and beliefs.
feb. 14: chinese new year/valentine's day--spent cleaning and sleeping and reading and studying and being hungry at random hours but staving it off with bran cereal. yum.
late into the early morning of feb. 15: reading alice in quantumland--which, by design, feels a lot like the phantom tollbooth but is still quite complex as i am allergic to physics.
sometimes i can't help but feel like everything is whirling forward and out of control and i am merely in the middle, almost immobile and quite off-pace. i'm doing my best to move forward, but i can't help but feel pressure from all sides. a little peace would be nice. a clear state of mind, undistracted. i pray that that is exactly what this next year of life brings me: focus and peace. even if i feel like my metabolism is slowing down and i can't pull all-nighters anymore. even if i have to force myself to understand the world of rest mass energy. this year, like all the ones before, i'm thankful for the people around me who give me motivation to focus and who cut into my pressure-laden condition and make me laugh and feel loved. somehow, someway, i aim to repay you tenfold.
before it begins to break
Monday, January 04, 2010
my right foot is so unbearably sore. i have to make an appointment with the podiatrist tomorrow. apparently, i have an arch that needs special support and it's been bugging me. i wanted to run my heart out at the gym tonight and only succeeded in doing so for about ten minutes. then i couldn't take the pain anymore. resorted to middle-to-lower body toning exercises. so on top of my foot being sore, my thighs are sore. wonder what walking will be like tomorrow.
first day of school was bearable. i hope that's what the rest of my quarter is going to be like. without an attempt at those horrible new year's resolutions that always tend to fall flat, i'm going to try to discipline myself more in terms of keeping up my health. that way, i can power through this quarter of science-filled stress monsters that look surprisingly like angry muppets--when i imagine that they're alive and sitting next to me as i finish my online homework...
with that being said, break is officially over.
she is a dress wearing a face
first day of school was bearable. i hope that's what the rest of my quarter is going to be like. without an attempt at those horrible new year's resolutions that always tend to fall flat, i'm going to try to discipline myself more in terms of keeping up my health. that way, i can power through this quarter of science-filled stress monsters that look surprisingly like angry muppets--when i imagine that they're alive and sitting next to me as i finish my online homework...
with that being said, break is officially over.
she is a dress wearing a face
Friday, December 25, 2009
this christmas wasn't any different than most of the christmases i've experienced in the past decade. me at home, mom and dad at work. perhaps that's why when everyone else is so hyped up about enjoying parties, i'm sort of a downer without meaning to be. i love being quite by myself for the most part, so it's not like i was moping at the dining room table with a bottle of vodka and a half-empty packet of cigarettes (sorry, but that's the black-and-white photograph that pops into my head when i think of depressed, lonely people). before dad went to work today, i had to put some of my concealer on his face. i think he got bitten by a spider and it swelled. after i put it on, he took a look at himself in shock and said "ahhh, so this is how actors and actresses cheat..." silly rabbit.
i bought mom a vanilla rooibos latte before picking her up. she's been feeling stiff and achy since yesterday. tasted a little--think i've found a new tea to add to the "michelle's addicted" shelf. we made banana bread together when we got home. mom can't quite reach over the counter without a small stepping stool (from which i have happily graduated--but not by much), so i did most of the mixing. i can still smell it from my open bedroom door. it's a very nostalgic aroma. brings back memories of the times when i would pretend ballet around my living room to tchaikovsky's nutcracker suite while mom would try to curl my hair and stuff me into one of those insufferable dresses that resemble an over-wrapped gift. all for the sake of picture taking.
i have decided that i am going to compile a list of things that i want--because i've never done it before, at least, not in earnest. a little late for santa, i know. but i never intended for santa to bring it to me. i'd rather work for it. now, what i want clashes with what i'll actually buy because it needs to be cheaper than what i want, sadly. it'll be a sporadic list. but for now here are a couple of things that i had my eye on.
etsy clutches:
mulberry clutch:
tea steep/stir:
polaroid-lomo love:
don't forget, don't forget i love, i love, i love you
i bought mom a vanilla rooibos latte before picking her up. she's been feeling stiff and achy since yesterday. tasted a little--think i've found a new tea to add to the "michelle's addicted" shelf. we made banana bread together when we got home. mom can't quite reach over the counter without a small stepping stool (from which i have happily graduated--but not by much), so i did most of the mixing. i can still smell it from my open bedroom door. it's a very nostalgic aroma. brings back memories of the times when i would pretend ballet around my living room to tchaikovsky's nutcracker suite while mom would try to curl my hair and stuff me into one of those insufferable dresses that resemble an over-wrapped gift. all for the sake of picture taking.
i have decided that i am going to compile a list of things that i want--because i've never done it before, at least, not in earnest. a little late for santa, i know. but i never intended for santa to bring it to me. i'd rather work for it. now, what i want clashes with what i'll actually buy because it needs to be cheaper than what i want, sadly. it'll be a sporadic list. but for now here are a couple of things that i had my eye on.
etsy clutches:
mulberry clutch:
tea steep/stir:
polaroid-lomo love:
don't forget, don't forget i love, i love, i love you
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
so i'm awake not because i have to take my mom to work (which i normally do at around 5:30 am - 6 am thereabouts. i still have to take her to work in an hour...) but because my right ankle has this tiny bug bite right where my sock ends. definitely the dregs of life when you have to awaken yourself fully to put hydrocortizone on something so small yet so irritating. it's also a pain when you awaken with the urge to pee. that happens more often than i'd like.
lots on my to-do list today.
-shop for new laptop. this old clunker's cd drive has finally given its last wailing sigh and has refused to work for a week, skipping and spitting out things i feed it. fry's here i come.
-get a room. no, seriously. i need to settle my payments, etc. for a dorm room before school starts. back at lsu for another quarter. then hopefully ucr.
-read and return the 5 million library books i've been reading to keep myself semi-conscious over summer break.
-post up pictures from my new zealand/fiji trip. has the phrase "i'm just too lazy" been worn out by so many years of repetition with no resulting change?
-make miyuk guk for parents. i made it last week and they liked it. asked me to make it for dinner, which is unusual, since i never get asked to make something again. besides banana bread. and maybe ramen. takes about 30 minutes to make, minus the 10 minutes of dried seaweed expansion. fascinating to watch. just like linoleum curling.
-wrap my cell phone in saran wrap. it's missing its back cover and the on/off button. i can still turn it on and off with a mechanical pencil tip. just have to keep the battery and micro chip from falling out or else i'll really be screwed.
okay, so maybe not as long a list as i thought it was going to be. in short, i'm just cranky about having woken up too early and have nothing better to gab to myself about.
in search of lost time
lots on my to-do list today.
-shop for new laptop. this old clunker's cd drive has finally given its last wailing sigh and has refused to work for a week, skipping and spitting out things i feed it. fry's here i come.
-get a room. no, seriously. i need to settle my payments, etc. for a dorm room before school starts. back at lsu for another quarter. then hopefully ucr.
-read and return the 5 million library books i've been reading to keep myself semi-conscious over summer break.
-post up pictures from my new zealand/fiji trip. has the phrase "i'm just too lazy" been worn out by so many years of repetition with no resulting change?
-make miyuk guk for parents. i made it last week and they liked it. asked me to make it for dinner, which is unusual, since i never get asked to make something again. besides banana bread. and maybe ramen. takes about 30 minutes to make, minus the 10 minutes of dried seaweed expansion. fascinating to watch. just like linoleum curling.
-wrap my cell phone in saran wrap. it's missing its back cover and the on/off button. i can still turn it on and off with a mechanical pencil tip. just have to keep the battery and micro chip from falling out or else i'll really be screwed.
okay, so maybe not as long a list as i thought it was going to be. in short, i'm just cranky about having woken up too early and have nothing better to gab to myself about.
in search of lost time
Monday, December 29, 2008
so i've successfully managed to avoid posting a blog for a couple of months. not like it's in my innate nature to be so negligent but somehow i've gotten used to the idea that i could quite possibly be a very lazy person. the holidays are going well, if rather cold. nothing compared to canada (where i would really like to go right now) though. i wonder if they have invented electrically heated shoes. you know... like the blankets?
i was washing my clothes in the coin-op laundry a couple of days ago and i had the urge to climb into one of the 60 lb washers just so see if i could still fit in it. i can still fit myself into a dryer with room to spare, but as to the washers, i'm not quite sure. they just looked pleadingly at me, asking me to pick up my habit of contortionism. don't worry. i don't intend to wash myself. that's slightly barbaric and i don't have any scuba gear. plus the spin cycle is a bit much.
i'm about to take mom shopping at burlington. as if they have anything for 4'10" little women except in the plus plus plus petite section. or the kids' section. but who's the pot to call the kettle black? at any rate, it means more walking on my part so i should put on my runners. the house smells like fish and egg fo yong. maybe i should eat a little bit before going out. i'm going to need my strength to catch up to mom. as small as she is, she walks like she's on rollerskates.
lysol: ode to clean
i was washing my clothes in the coin-op laundry a couple of days ago and i had the urge to climb into one of the 60 lb washers just so see if i could still fit in it. i can still fit myself into a dryer with room to spare, but as to the washers, i'm not quite sure. they just looked pleadingly at me, asking me to pick up my habit of contortionism. don't worry. i don't intend to wash myself. that's slightly barbaric and i don't have any scuba gear. plus the spin cycle is a bit much.
i'm about to take mom shopping at burlington. as if they have anything for 4'10" little women except in the plus plus plus petite section. or the kids' section. but who's the pot to call the kettle black? at any rate, it means more walking on my part so i should put on my runners. the house smells like fish and egg fo yong. maybe i should eat a little bit before going out. i'm going to need my strength to catch up to mom. as small as she is, she walks like she's on rollerskates.
lysol: ode to clean
Friday, July 25, 2008
i swear, this summer, the title of this blog should be confessions of the chronic insomniac. nature has it that i should sleep late into the afternoon and stay up late at night--well, no. not nature. just a lack of restraint. perhaps this should be dealt with presently. i have to go and sing at LSUC tomorrow and i'm pretty sure i'm ok and ready, but with my sleeping habits, i'll be asleep before First Service and the opening hymn on Saturday.
before i knew it, the trip to florida was over, andrew was already using a cubicle and apartment instead of a dorm room, and i was back at home with nothing but piles and piles of stuff. the weeks seem to waste away into meaningless nothings while i sit here in my bedroom. but that's usually how summers go, no matter how busy i am. makes me feel like i'm some sort of android. ok, now i'm starting to get sleepy. i can't find my watch. it's been with me since my sophomore year in high school and i would be loathe to find it missing. must go check the car again. i hope i didn't leave it in church. no. i couldn't have. i took it off of my wrist when i was driving so i wouldn't get a tan line (poor vain thing that i am).
ideas bereft of their scathing brilliance
before i knew it, the trip to florida was over, andrew was already using a cubicle and apartment instead of a dorm room, and i was back at home with nothing but piles and piles of stuff. the weeks seem to waste away into meaningless nothings while i sit here in my bedroom. but that's usually how summers go, no matter how busy i am. makes me feel like i'm some sort of android. ok, now i'm starting to get sleepy. i can't find my watch. it's been with me since my sophomore year in high school and i would be loathe to find it missing. must go check the car again. i hope i didn't leave it in church. no. i couldn't have. i took it off of my wrist when i was driving so i wouldn't get a tan line (poor vain thing that i am).
ideas bereft of their scathing brilliance
Friday, April 04, 2008
stolen from bryan, behold the almighty personality test:
haha.
was bored.
sound awake, wide asleep
haha.
was bored.
sound awake, wide asleep
